I'm scared that one day you'll see me the way I see myself; you'll recognize what I am
A cancer
A sickness
The devolution of humankind
Deficient and sustaining an existence that has always been a chore to feed
I was never meant to be here
Yet sometimes I do like to think that another version of me exists in another universe - on another plane of reality somewhere
Unmarred
Reaching its full potential and not defective to the point that it exhausts itself just trying to stay alive
Not always having to think about it
Not always having that itch to leave
Perhaps there exist a multitude
Of ones meant to be
And sometimes I think I started crying the moment I was born and just learned how to stop while never getting rid of that feeling
The feeling of displacement
Consternation
Decay
My insides have been rotting from the second I first opened my eyes, and yet I still never thought it possible to be so tired just from being alive
I never asked for this
I never asked to have to listen to the noise forever
It's just
So
Fucking
Loud
And this world is so fucking beautiful
I wish I had been meant for it
(2022)
